


Just like the morning rises, of course the road continues

by Jya



Series: Highway to heaven [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Injury Recovery, Kissing, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, other nct members mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 01:56:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19416097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jya/pseuds/Jya
Summary: “You’re looking at me like you’re about to-”“To what?” Yuta asked, catching Taeyong’s eye.The volume in Taeyong’s voice dropped, and his cheeks flushed. This time he didn’t look away. “Like you’re going to kiss me.”Yuta’s heart skipped a beat. “Would you mind if I did?”OrYuta comes back to the hotel to find Taeyong falling apart. He manages to put him back together in the most unexpected way.





	Just like the morning rises, of course the road continues

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys- so I've decided to make this a 3-part series since SM isn't showing any signs of letting these boys rest. Anyway, you don't need part 1 to understand this, but it exists just fyi.  
> My way of coping with seeing our babies so exhausted.  
> Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAEYONG! Wishing you all the happiness and health in the world!

Yuta was exhausted. They’d survived night two of three in Thailand, but he had no idea how he was going to get through a third. He’d come off stage absolutely ready to crash in bed, forgoing food and possibly even a shower, depending on whether Taeyong showered. Unfortunately for him, the trainers had been watching him and had insisted that he and Johnny both pay them a visit before they returned to the hotel. Having seen how much pain Johnny was in, Yuta of course, but still begrudgingly, volunteered to go second. They’d checked him over, made a big fuss, given him new exercises (did they really think he was going to do them between now and tomorrow morning when he saw them again?) and even made him sit there with ice on his leg for twenty minutes before allowing him to go back to the hotel. How he hadn’t passed out on the observation table, he really had no idea. How he’d gotten back to the hotel without passing out in the car, he also couldn’t recall. But here he was, eyes barely open, limping blindly to his shared hotel room. He was sure Taeyong would be long passed out, but when he managed to wrestle the door open, he found the lights on and the bed empty. Ok, so that was a little bit concerning. 

Yuta kicked off his shoes and dumped his bag beside the bed. He’d been gone nearly an hour and a half, did it really take that long to shower? Maybe Taeyong had eaten first? But there was no evidence of food in the room. 

He decided to give it a few minutes, maybe Taeyong would stumble out half asleep and pass out. 

But he didn’t. Yuta waited exactly fourteen minutes before deciding it would be a health concern if he didn’t at least knock on the bathroom door. The shower was audible, so he knocked loud. 

There was no answer. 

“Yongie?” 

Still nothing. Just the sound of the water running. Maybe he’d fallen asleep in the shower? 

He knocked again and spoke louder this time. “Taeyong?” 

The door wasn’t locked and Yuta let himself inside. They’d spent way too long in a dorm with one bathroom for anyone to be shy at this point, but somehow he felt more like he was intruding than he’d ever felt before. 

The first thing Yuta noticed was the lack of steam in the room. It wasn’t hot- or warm at all for that matter. The second was form sitting on the shower floor, slumped against the wall. Yuta felt a chill run down his spine. He knew his best friend; it wasn’t abnormal to find him sitting on the floor of the shower thinking. But there was something different now. Whether the lack of steam in the room or just the posture of his body, Yuta was worried. 

“Taeyong?” He announced himself and pulled open the shower door. Taeyong was curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his body, his head fallen against the wall. He was shivering and his skin was red from the cold water relentlessly pounding on it. 

Slowly, Taeyong lifted his head. Yuta watched him wince as he looked up, the pain so clearly evident on his face, eyes bloodshot from crying. 

“Oh Yongie,” Yuta climbed in, feeling his own heart break for his friend. He adjusted the water temperature, not waiting for it to warm up before he climbed in next to Taeyong. He wanted to drag him into his lap and squeeze him as hard as he possibly could, but he knew he was injured and he couldn’t manhandle him the way he normally would. So he was careful. He wrapped his legs around Taeyong’s and gently urged him forward, tugging him into his arms and allowing Taeyong to use Yuta’s body to pull himself forward. He choked on a sob as his head hit Yuta’s shoulders. God he was so cold and shaking so hard. How long had he been sitting like this? 

“Baby, talk to me,” Yuta urged, feeling a lump forming in his own throat. He tried to pull his head far enough back to see Taeyong’s face, to catch a word if he tried to speak against the sound of the water, but all he could see was his hair plastered to his forehead, the goosebumps on his shoulders. 

“I’m so sick of everything, Yuta,” Taeyong finally said. He actually caught Yuta off guard- he didn’t think he’d speak that easily. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I can’t do this.” 

“Do what?”

“All of it. I’m so-” he choked on a sob, “so tired of all of it. Seeing everyone killing themselves, working past the point of exhaustion. They’re all hurting, Yuta. I hate it. I hate all of it. I don’t want to do it anymore.” 

“Yongie,” Yuta soothed, rubbing small circles into Taeyong’s shoulder, “slow down. It’s ok. You’re ok.” 

“I’m not, Yuta. I’m not cut out for this. I don’t want this. I don’t want to be me anymore,” he dissolved into tears on the last word, and if he’d been crying before, it was nothing compared to this. 

Yuta managed to shift enough to plug the bathtub drain and flick the shower off, making sure the temperature was warm enough, he let the bath begin filling. But Taeyong didn’t stop shaking. Yuta held him tight, rubbed his back, held his hand and let him cry. And cry he did. It hurt, because Yuta had no words. He didn’t know what to say. He’d held Taeyong while he cried before, most recently during their Superhuman promotions. But now Taeyong was here again, falling apart, and Yuta didn’t know what to say or what to do. 

Taeyong was right. They were all falling apart. Everyone was injured and exhausted and there was no end in sight. They didn’t even have the energy to look forward to the finish line. They got on stage every night and rode the high of the crowd, loaded with painkillers and freezing sprays, then came off stage and absolutely crashed, only to have to do it again the next night. Could he really blame Taeyong for the way he felt right now? Of course not. 

All he could do was hold him while he cried. 

Finally, the sobs slowed. If Yuta’s shoulder wasn’t already soaked from the shower, it would be soaked with tears. Part of him wished he’d had the sense to take his clothes off before getting into the shower. 

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong said. Yuta was surprised he heard it. He reached around and turned the water off. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” 

“Yongie, please don’t be. I’m here for you, remember? No matter what.”

Taeyong took a deep breath as more tears leaked from his eyes. Yuta reached for him and wiped the tears futilely. More tears followed, and his face was wet, but still Yuta continued to wipe at them. 

“I don’t know what to do, Yuta,” Taeyong said, tilting his head up, but wincing as the pain hit him. “Also, why are you in the tub with your clothes on?” He stretched his neck out, lifting a hand to his shoulder to massage at it. 

“Let me do that,” Yuta said, setting about massaging Taeyong’s shoulders. It was a bit awkward from the front, but he tried his best anyway. “And I wasn’t really thinking, I just climbed in when I saw you.” 

Taeyong sighed. “Thanks. And sorry. I know you said not to be but… it shouldn’t be your job to deal with me like this.” 

“We’re a team, Yong. It’s all of our jobs to take care of all of us.” Yuta found a particularly large knot in Taeyong’s shoulder, feeling the smaller boy wince as he massaged at it. “Sorry.” 

“No, it’s good. Thank you. I just… I’m the leader and I just feel like I should be doing  _ something _ for the guys. I feel like I’m letting everyone down and I hate it.” 

“Why do you feel like you’re letting them down?” 

“I don’t know… because everyone is in pain? No one is having fun anymore, Yuta. I might be the only one saying it but… you know it’s true.” 

“I don’t think that’s true. We’re all just… tired.” 

“Do you still love this? Are you still happy? Having fun?” 

Yuta took a second to think. It was easy to tell himself to lie, to tell Taeyong he was thrilled with everything that was happening right now, but that didn’t seem like the right answer. “I think… I’m tired just like everyone else, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m unhappy.” 

“Really?” Taeyong looked at him flatly, like he was about to tell Yuta he was full of shit.    
“Look at everything we’ve accomplished,” Yuta said, “yeah we’ve paid for it with our blood, sweat and tears, but no one said this was going to be an easy ride. Am I exhausted? Yes. Am I tired of being in pain all the time? Of course! But would I trade what we have, what we’ve done, for the world? Absolutely not! Our schedule is balls right now and I just want to leave and sleep for a week, but everything we have, everything we’ve built together, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

Yuta was surprised he’d managed to come up with that. But none of it was a lie. It was just… hard to see sometimes. He thought maybe Taeyong was feeling the same, judging by the way he was now staring off into space. 

“Do you disagree?” Yuta finally asked, setting a hand on Taeyong’s cheek, pulling him back to reality. 

“No,” Taeyong said.

“Do you think any of the guys would?” 

Taeyong gently shook his head. Yuta winced for him, wishing he wouldn’t, but he seemed too lost inside his own head to feel the pain.

“It’s easy to forget sometimes, I think,” Yuta said. 

“Yuta, can I ask you something, and can you give me an honest answer?” 

Yuta cocked his head to the side curiously, his hand dropping from Taeyong’s face to his shoulder. “Of course.” 

“Do you think Johnny would have been a better choice for leader than me?” 

Yuta’s head jumped back automatically, the way muscles might activate when one is seriously confused. Thankfully it wasn’t one of those situations where someone tries to say something intelligent and it comes out sounding ridiculous and you can’t help but laugh. Or maybe this was one of those situations. 

“Where is this coming from?” Yuta asked. 

Taeyong sighed and leaned away slightly. “I just feel so… messed up. I feel like my mind isn’t where it should be and I can’t bring it back. It makes me feel useless and inadequate, like I can’t do anything right.” 

“Ok first of all, none of those things are true. Second, you’re exhausted, Taeyong. You can’t beat yourself up for feeling scattered. We’re all like that right now. You’re human for God’s sake.” 

“But why do I feel like I’m the only one like this?”

“Because you’re the only one who can see inside your own mind? And you can’t see what the others are thinking?” 

“Ok. But you didn’t answer the question…” Taeyong said, his tone meek. 

“Whether Johnny would be a better leader? Taeyong…” Yuta was flabbergasted that Taeyong would ever ask that. “Of course I don’t think that. You’re our leader; you always have been. Even before we debuted, you were always the one who kept us going, kept us organized, looked after everyone.” 

“But I’m not doing a very good job of that now am I?” 

“Of course you are. You always do. Exhausted as you are, you always take the time to talk to us after a show. You always tell us that we did well. You check in on those who need it, and you’re always there if anyone needs anything.” 

“I don’t feel like I’m doing any of that successfully right now.” 

“Because we’re all exhausted. You can’t change that. You can’t create more hours in a day, nor can you magically heal injuries. Taeyong, you can’t expect these things from yourself.” 

Taeyong was overcome with tears again. “I want to be able to do that though,” he whimpered. 

Yuta pulled him close again, sighing as he did. “You’re too good for this world, Yongie. And that’s why you’re the perfect person to lead us. You always put us first, always willing to go through hell and back to take care of us. And I can see it now… the hardest thing in the world for you is not being able to keep us perfectly healthy.” 

“Is it wrong to want that?” He sobbed. 

“No. It’s what makes you so amazing. But you spend all your energy on us. You need to take care of yourself too.” 

“I don’t matter as much. I’ll just… I’ll be fine.” 

“You matter. You matter more than… more than anyone,” Yuta whispered. “To me.” 

“What?”

“Just let me be here for you, ok? You’re too focused on everyone else, so let me focus on you.” 

Taeyong sobbed quietly, burying his head in Yuta’s shoulder. He couldn’t stop the tears; neither of them could. But Yuta wouldn’t let him face his demons alone. 

Yuta could feel the lump growing larger in his throat and before long, tears were threatening at the backs of his own eyes. Seeing his leader, his best friend like this was so hard. He understood why Taeyong felt the way he did, wishing he could take the others’ pain away. Because he wanted that for Taeyong right now. If he could take it all upon himself, he would. He loved this man beyond words, and if saving him meant throwing himself in front of a bullet, Yuta wouldn’t give it a second thought. 

Yuta had known Taeyong since he first came to SM. He’d met him his very first day, back when his Korean was still broken and he’d been nothing more than a scared child, leaving home for the first time and entering a country and an industry that was ready to strip him completely bare. Taeyong might have spoken the language, but he was in the same position, if not a scarier one. Yuta saw the way the managers were ready to groom Taeyong into everything they wanted him to be, and that grooming was relentless. Taeyong was perhaps under more pressure than any of them, but he was always there to help. Always there to lend a hand when Yuta needed anything, or a shoulder when he needed to cry. He would stay up late when Yuta when he couldn't sleep and felt homesick, or he’d stay late for hours with him in the practice room, helping him perfect a dance that Taeyong had only just learned himself. They would stay up late even when they had to be up at the crack of dawn working on Yuta’s Korean so that he could feel more comfortable around everyone else. Taeyong would whisper words that were easier to understand in his ear in front of management, always making sure he was next to him so that he could provide assistance. 

Yuta would never forget any of this. He owed everything to Taeyong, though it was not that debt that would always keep him next to him. Yuta loved him with every fiber of his being. From the day they’d met, he’d known he would always love Taeyong- but he wasn’t sure at what point he’d realized it was more than just loving him. He couldn’t say for sure if he’d always been  _ in _ love with his best friend, but he’d reached a point where he knew there was no use denying those feelings. He’d reached some sort of an equilibrium with his feelings, telling himself that he would never act on them unless Taeyong asked him to. He could never feel anything but genuine affection and would never act on anything more than his platonic love for his best friend, because that was what Taeyong deserved. And because he felt that it made Taeyong happy, he was ok with it. Would he ever not be in love with Taeyong? Probably not. Was he ok with that? For now, yes. 

Taeyong was crying again- hard. It broke Yuta’s heart and he felt so helpless. He wanted to make him feel better, wanted to take his pain away, but there wasn’t anything he could do. He knew he needed to appreciate the fact that Taeyong trusted him enough to fall apart in his arms, but it didn’t make it any easier. He would never asked him to hide it, and he wanted Taeyong to feel comfortable with him. But still. All he could do was hold him, hug him tight, rub circles into his back with his hands, run his fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. The fact that Taeyong had this much pent up pain was so difficult. He was always so strong in the dressing rooms, in the practice room. Yet this was evidence that there was more than what met the eye.

The water was starting to get cold again, and Yuta shifted enough to reach the tap again to add more warm water. It was hot against his back, but he used his free hand to swirl the water around himself and Taeyong to distribute it better. Once he was satisfied with the temperature, he reached for Taeyong’s shampoo and squeezed some into his palm. Taeyong lifted his head at the sound, and Yuta began massaging his fingertips into Taeyong’s scalp, the mint shampoo forming bubbles in his blonde hair. He was careful, watching Taeyong’s face for any signs of pain as he tried to avoid putting any pressure on his injured neck. 

“That feels nice,” Taeyong said, rubbing at his eyes with his right hand. 

“Good, try to relax,” Yuta said, “and tell me if I’m hurting you please.” 

“You’re not,” Taeyong said, taking a deep breath and letting his eyes fall closed. 

Even after Yuta was satisfied that Taeyong’s hair was clean, he kept massaging. Taeyong’s breathing was evening out and he’d stopped crying. He could feel the mint making his fingers tingle and he hoped it had the same effect on Taeyong’s scalp. 

“Keep your eyes closed,” Yuta said, “I’m going to rinse the soap out.” 

Taeyong did as he was told, and Yuta scooped handfuls of water on top of Taeyong’s head. There wasn’t enough room for Taeyong to lie down with both of them in the tub, and Yuta knew it was only going to hurt if he tried to fold himself so his head was in the water. 

It took time, but Yuta kept scooping water onto Taeyong’s hair. Taeyong kept his eyes closed, and it gave Yuta the perfect opportunity to study his friend’s face. He’d lost so much weight, and his jaw was even more angular than it normally was, but no less beautiful. Water droplets clung to his long eyelashes which poked out between his bangs. He was gorgeous- there was no way around that fact. Yuta reached up to brush Taeyong’s bangs off his face and his dark brown eyes fluttered open, locking on Yuta’s. Yuta couldn’t help but smile. Even though his eyes were bloodshot and swollen, they were a sight to behold. 

“What?” 

“You’re beautiful,” Yuta said without even thinking. 

Taeyong’s cheeks flushed and he shied away, his eyes dropping for a moment. “I’ve got nothing on you,” he said quietly. 

“Yongie,” Yuta said, setting his finger beneath Taeyong’s chin. He didn’t actually lift his head, but it achieved the desired effect as Taeyong met his eye again. “You’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever laid eyes on.” 

He flushed again, and Yuta smiled again. It was amazing how Taeyong, absolute sex-on-legs on stage turned to this bashful person with the smallest energy when you caught him off guard with a compliment. 

Taeyong sniffled again, and Yuta pulled him back into his arms, hugging him tight but careful. 

“Let’s condition your hair and get you out, ok? You’re going to turn into a prune.” 

Another sniffle, “can I wash your hair too?” Taeyong pulled back and looked into Yuta’s eyes. His own eyes were still swimming with tears. 

How could Yuta say no? “As long as it’s not going to cause you pain.” He reached to brush a piece of Taeyong’s hair behind his ear. 

“I’m ok,” Taeyong said. 

Yuta didn’t really believe him, but if it was going to make him feel better, then Yuta would let him.

He put conditioner in Taeyong’s hair and let it sit while he turned around to let Taeyong wash his hair. Yuta could feel how slow Taeyong’s movements were, and it hurt to think he was in pain, but he kept quiet and let Taeyong massage the shampoo into his hair. His eyes slipped closed and he could feel Taeyong’s slender fingers in his scalp, rubbing slow, soothing circles that seemed to ease away his stress. There was something so intimate about Taeyong’s hands in his hair, and it felt so comfortable. He too, scooped water into Yuta’s hair to rinse it, and then put conditioner in his hair. 

“Do you er- want to take your clothes off?” 

“Are you trying to get me naked?” Yuta teased, spinning back around. 

Taeyong flushed again. It was too easy, and he smirked as he pulled his shirt over his head. He watched Taeyong watch him, eyes falling to his chest, his shoulders and his stomach. “You’re so pretty,” Taeyong breathed. 

“I already told you, Yongie,” his hand falling to Taeyong’s cheek. “No one is prettier than you.” He could feel the tone in his voice edging away, and his words came out almost like a whisper. He stared into his best friend’s eyes, appreciating his beauty, not just his physical beauty, but everything about him. He was absolutely breathtaking, inside and out. How had Yuta gotten so lucky? 

Taeyong held his gaze, soft brown eyes meeting his own as he began to speak hesitantly. He looked away. “You’re looking at me like you’re about to-” 

“To what?” He asked, catching Taeyong’s eye once more. 

The volume in Taeyong’s voice dropped, and his cheeks flushed. But this time he didn’t look away. “Like you’re going to kiss me.” 

Yuta’s heart skipped a beat. Ok, so maybe he  _ was _ looking at him that way. It wasn’t the first time. But the fact that Taeyong noticed it? What was he doing? 

“Would you mind if I did?” 

What the hell was he doing? Taeyong was upset, broken,  _ vulnerable _ as hell right now. But just as he was about to disappear inside his own thoughts, tear himself to pieces for even  _ thinking _ of kissing Taeyong, Taeyong shook his head ever so slightly, his eyes locked with Yuta’s. 

Yuta didn’t hesitate; didn’t ask if Taeyong was sure, didn’t even think. But he moved slow enough that Taeyong could pull away if he wanted to. Even with his neck injury, he could have pulled back. Yuta made certain of that. But Taeyong did the opposite. He moved forward, helping to close the gap between them as Yuta brushed his lips over Taeyong’s. 

It could have been a brief meeting of their lips, leaving both of them uncertain as to the other’s feelings. But it was anything  _ but. _ Yuta couldn’t tell who really initiated it, who opened their lips first, giving way to the other’s tongue. He had no idea whose tongue graced the other’s first, whose hand fell to the other’s shoulder first, but it was perfect. Taeyong’s lips were so much softer than he’d ever imagined, and he’d certainly imagined it. The grace with which he kissed was indescribable, but it matched Taeyong so well.

It was Yuta who finally pulled back, dazed, but nervously watching Taeyong. He knew what he felt, but he didn’t know what to think. Was what he did ok? All he needed was a look at Taeyong’s face and he would know. 

But Taeyong’s expression appeared much like he imagined his own might look. The whole notion of ‘what the fuck just happened?’ written all over his face. He blinked rapidly before looking into Yuta’s eyes. His cheeks flushed once more, and Yuta felt a little bit better. 

“Was that… ok?” Yuta asked hesitantly. Whatever Taeyong said next had the potential to make or break him. 

“Yuta,” he sounded like he’d forgotten how to breathe. Maybe he had- and maybe Yuta had too, because the way his pulse was pounding in his ears should probably have been concerning. But all he could see right now was Taeyong. Teary eyed, rosy cheeked, way too thin, exhausted, Taeyong. Despite it all, he was no less beautiful. No less perfect. 

“Yongie, please say something,” Yuta said, holding his breath. 

“I love you,” Taeyong said, a tear slipping from his eye again. 

“Hun, I love you too,” Yuta said, pulling him close again, wrapping his arms tight around him. 

“Yuta,” Taeyong whispered quietly. 

Yuta pulled back again, not all the way out of reach, but so that he could see Taeyong’s face. 

“Did that… really just happen?” 

“...yeah,” Yuta said nervously. What the heck was Taeyong thinking? He needed to give Yuta something before he completely lost it. He needed to know this was ok. Needed to hear it. 

“I’m… I just…” 

Yuta wanted to shout at him to spit out whatever he was trying to say. He was pretty sure he’d been deprived of oxygen for the last sixty seconds at least, and he wasn’t about to start breathing until he got something, anything from Taeyong. Because if Taeyong wasn’t ok with what just happened, he might as well never breathe again. 

“I-” 

“Taeyong, spea-” 

Yuta’s words were cut off by Taeyong’s lips all but slamming into his own. He decided he had his answer, and he gave into his instincts. Letting Taeyong kiss him, very much returning the favor. It wasn’t rough, but it certainly wasn't soft either. Taeyong was out to make a point and boy was he making it. 

When Yuta pulled away he realized two things. The first was that his hands were slimey with conditioner from being fisted in Taeyong’s hair (how long had they been kissing??). The second was that Taeyong was smiling. He was smiling that timid, meek one sided smile that no one who saw him on stage would ever imagine he had, and it had Yuta completely in pieces at the sight of it. He wanted to cry and scream and celebrate all at the same time, but he couldn’t even manage a word. But even so, he maybe wasn’t sure he needed to say anything as Taeyong dropped his gaze and reached for Yuta’s hand, taking it in his own and lacing their fingers together. His touch was so gentle, so soft, so delicately Taeyong. His hands were smaller than Yuta’s, his fingers thinner, his nails cleaner cut, but they fit so well in Yuta’s larger hands. 

“One sec,” Yuta said, completely spoiling the mood but taking his hand back from Taeyong and wrestling himself out of his sweatpants. Thankfully he’d changed before meeting with the trainers- wet jeans were an absolute nightmare to get out of. That would have made for a great mood;  _ so we just kissed and I really want to date you but can you help me take my pants off? _

“Better?” Taeyong asked. He was still sounding oddly shy given how outgoing he normally was, and his cheeks were still flushed. Yuta wondered if that blush would remain on his face even after they were out of the warm bathtub. He hoped it would. 

“Yeah,” Yuta said, crossing his legs and getting comfortable again. “We should get out though.” 

“Yeah,” Taeyong agreed. 

“Shower?” Yuta asked, a hand on the tap. 

“Sure.” 

Was this awkward? Or were there just… not much in terms of words for right now? Yuta hoped it was the latter. Their actions spoke for themselves, but he hoped they had intended the same meanings. He stood up and helped Taeyong to his feet, unplugging the drain and adjusting the heat before turning his attention to Taeyong. He set his hands on Taeyong’s shoulders and moved him directly under the stream of water to rinse the conditioner from his hair. He was beginning to feel suffocated, and he quickly rinsed his own hair before turning off the shower and stepping out of the tub. He picked up a towel and wrapped it around a smiling Taeyong before grabbing one for himself. 

Yuta dried his hair and buried his face in his towel, half afraid to look up. Was this really happening? When he did look up, he was greeted by the softest sight. Taeyong was wrapped in his big fluffy towel, the edge pulled right up to his chin, and he had the dopiest, shit-eating grin on his face. 

“What?” Yuta laughed, feeling his own smile coming through. 

“Does this mean you’re mine?” Taeyong asked, pulling the towel up over his mouth to hide his smile, but his eyes gave everything away. 

Yuta wrapped his towel around his waist and secured it there, locking eyes with Taeyong and approaching him. He tried to stare at him straight-faced, going for the dangerous expression he could pull off in front of any camera or any fan, but he didn’t stand a chance against Taeyong. He felt his attempted glare dissolve as Taeyong’s smiling eyes pierced his own, and he reached for Taeyong, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him in closer. Taeyong kept his arms clenched in his towel, keeping it covering half his face. 

“Do you want me to be yours?” Yuta asked, pressing his forehead against Taeyong’s. 

“Yes,” Taeyong said quietly, voice muffled by the towel. But the word was unmistakable, and it sent waves of excitement through Yuta’s veins. 

This was really happening. 

“Then I’m all yours,” Yuta grinned, kissing Taeyong’s forehead. “But my first act as yours is not going to be letting you stand here in a wet towel until you catch a cold. Stay here, I’ll get you some clothes.” 

Taeyong dropped his towel from his face and chewed on his lower lip, watching Yuta as he left the bathroom. Yuta closed the door to keep the heat inside for Taeyong, knowing full well how much he disliked being cold. He pulled on underwear and a t-shirt, then opened Taeyong’s suitcase. Of course his clothing was meticulously folded and organized, and Yuta smiled as he pulled out Taeyong’s red pajamas. 

Taeyong was right where he left him, still wrapped in his towel, but slightly drier now. His hair was still dripping, and Yuta used his own towel to gently press some of the water out of it. Taeyong winced as Yuta dried his hair, Yuta remembering how much pain he was likely still in. "Ice or heat?" He asked his friend, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I just want to sleep," Taeyong said, tilting his head slightly, wincing again as he stretched his neck. 

"Babe, you need something."

"Pain killers," Taeyong said, eyeing the pajamas sitting on the counter.

Yuta sighed and planted another kiss on his forehead. He couldn't argue with him right now. It would be like yelling at a crying child. Taeyong was beaten so far down, he needed to feel like Yuta was on his side. He decided he'd let it slide for one night and instead reached for Taeyong's brace.

"Chin," he said, and Taeyong lifted his head enough that Yuta could wrap the brace around his neck and fasten the velcro. "That ok? Not too tight?" He was getting a knack for this, as unfortunate as it was that he needed to. 

"Mm," Taeyong hummed, biting his fingernails, still clutching his towel around himself.

Again, Yuta decided not to scold him, instead running his fingers through his hair and moving in to kiss his nose. Taeyong reached for a kiss, hoping for one on the lips and pouted when it landed on his nose. 

"Mean!" 

Yuta smiled, obligingly pressing a soft kiss to his lips. How had he held back from kissing Taeyong for so long? Kissing him felt like the easiest, most natural action in the world. 

"I never imagined how good that could feel," Taeyong said quietly.

"Oh yeah?"

Taeyong's cheeks flushed again. 

He helped Taeyong into his pajamas, his arms visibly exhausted as he could hardly hold them up to get his shirt over his head. He needed to get him to bed and keep him there for as long as he was allowed. “Let’s go lie down, k?” 

He didn’t need to be asked twice. 

Taeyong left the bathroom and Yuta hung their towels and collected their clothes before following. 

"Did you eat anything?" Yuta asked, stopping by the freezer for an ice pack. 

"No," Taeyong said, slowly sitting himself down on their bed.

The way Taeyong moved so slowly hurt to watch. He hid his pain so well on stage and even in the dressing room around the members. But he was clearly exhausted and didn't have the energy to do so now. It was unlike him, and it made Yuta worry. Either he was too tired to hide it or he was in too much pain to cover it up. 

"Here," Yuta handed him his bottle of pain killers followed by a water bottle.

"Thanks," Taeyong said. He pressed on the child-proof cap, struggling to open it. Yuta couldn't stand to watch, and quickly took it back and opened it for him.

"I could have done it," Taeyong said, his voice a mixture of sadness and frustration. 

"I know. But you're tired and sore. Just rest, ok?"

Taeyong tossed back a couple of the pills and curled himself into a ball on the bed. Yuta thought he was going to cry again, and he quickly dug out what he was looking for, ready to cuddle all the sadness out of Taeyong. 

As he was closing the fridge, Yuta eye’s fell to the mini bar in the door. He was used to finding alcohol in the fridge at hotels but he never bothered with it, always buying his own or ordering it if he wanted something. Not that he drank often in hotels- it was an unspoken rule that you didn’t drink the night before a concert. But even so, his eyes were drawn to the mini bottle of sparkling wine. You only got a first kiss with your best friend once, right? 

Taeyong was looking extra soft with his damp hair pressed against the bed, arms clenched beneath his chest when Yuta joined him, setting the bottle down on the bed next to his ice pack. 

“Is that wine?” Taeyong squinted as Yuta approached, setting the bottle down. 

“I thought maybe drinks were in order,” Yuta smiled. “Are you still wearing contacts?”

“No, they drowned in the shower,” Taeyong said, sitting up a bit. “And are we celebrating? Or drinking our problems away?” 

“Maybe a little bit of both?” Yuta smiled, leaning over to pick up Taeyong’s glasses from the night table. They’d ended up on his side of the bed last night when Taeyong fell asleep reading a book and Yuta had taken them off for them. As much as Yuta loved his glasses and wanted to leave them on him and just watch him until he fell asleep, he’d decided it was safer to set them aside. Taeyong was often restless when he slept, especially when he was stressed. It had been bad one night when they’d shared a room before, and got to the point where Yuta couldn’t stand the tossing and turning and eventual whimpering, and he’d ended up wrapping himself around Taeyong like an octopus, cuddling him till he settled down. Oddly enough, they’d both woken up the next morning feeling more well rested than the rest of the trip. Maybe that was a sign. Why Yuta hadn’t cuddled him like that every day after remained a mystery. Maybe now, after what had happened, that would change. 

Yuta handed Taeyong his glasses and climbed onto the bed next to him, dropping the ice onto his knee and grabbing the elastic bandage from the night stand to hold it in place. 

“What did the trainers say?” Taeyong asked, watching him as he expertly wound the bandage around his leg. It came with being a dancer and performer- there was always something to ice. 

Yuta winced at the initial feeling of the cold pressed so close against his bare skin, but adjusted quickly. He shrugged as he secured the bandage, “Not much, same old. Stay off it. Gave me more exercises.” 

“Mm,” Taeyong hummed, frowning. 

“Champagne?” Yuta asked, holding up the small bottle, hoping to making Taeyong smile. It probably only held a couple of glasses if that, but he was entirely prepared to just drink out of the bottle and share with Taeyong. 

“You’re going to get us in trouble,” Taeyong said, but his frown disappeared anyway as he pulled himself farther up into a sitting position. 

"I think that's a risk I'm willing to take," he laughed. 

Yuta reached and arranged the massive pile of pillows behind them, trying to get Taeyong comfortable before turning his attention to the bottle. He knew Taeyong well enough to know that he wouldn’t complain- ever, so he had to do his best to read the signs in order to determine if he was uncomfortable. 

Yuta picked up the bottle once more and peeled the foil off, grasping the wire to untwist it.

"You look like you know what you're doing there," Taeyong said.

"Never opened a champagne bottle before?"

Taeyong probably would have cocked his head the way he so often did when he was thinking, if his neck was in better condition, but his eyebrow raised instead- the  _ one _ that Yuta knew he could raise. He could only do it on one side, and to Yuta that was adorable. "I don't think so."

"Let me show you how it's done." He elected to pull the cork off calmly, rather than shooting it at the ceiling like he might have wanted to. The others in the adjacent rooms might hear, and the bottle was small so he wasn't keen on wasting anything.

He pulled the cork out, eliciting a loud bang from the bottle, causing Taeyong to jump. Somehow, Yuta knew that was coming, and he smirked at Taeyong.

Taeyong pressed a hand to his chest, "that scared me!"

"Tell me you've at least tasted champagne before," Yuta grinned, tossing the cork to the side.

"Yes, at a wedding. But it was already in the glass when I got it." He dropped his hand back to his lap. 

Yuta passed the bottle to Taeyong before trying it himself. "Sorry, no fancy glasses here."

"I think there are some over there," Taeyong glanced over Yuta's shoulder.

"Yeah well, neither of us are in any condition to be getting off this bed. Just drink from the bottle; it's going to taste the same."

"So classy," Taeyong laughed, taking the bottle anyway.

Yuta watched the way he pursed his lips and took the smallest sip, the urge to kiss Taeyong hitting him once more.

He really couldn't remember when those urges had first started, nor did he know when he managed to crush them to the extent where they didn't interfere with his daily life.

"What are you looking at?" Taeyong said, his face twisting and eyes widening as he swallowed the liquid.

"Just you," Yuta smiled. "How is it?"

"Fizzy," Taeyong said, passing the bottle to Yuta.

"It's  _ supposed _ to be fizzy," Yuta said, taking the bottle. He slid himself up on the bed, keeping his legs straight out in front of him and moved closer to Taeyong. He took a small sip, swirling it in his mouth and tasting it before swallowing. It tasted sweet and citrusy, but not overwhelming. The bubbles made it taste stronger than he thought it might have tasted otherwise.

"It's good," Yuta said, looking back to Taeyong who was clearly waiting for a response.

Taeyong didn't reply, just continued to stare at Yuta. His body was bent at the waist, turned towards Yuta, watching him carefully. His neck brace took some of the angle out of his jaw, making him appear less thin that Yuta knew he was, but it didn’t hide the exhaustion in his face, the tired lines etched into his forehead, the dark circles around his eyes that could be so easily disguised with makeup. Yuta almost wished they couldn’t be hidden, then maybe the company would be forced to spread out their shows and give them more rest. He hated that Taeyong was suffering so much right now. It wasn’t often easy to see on him, but right now it was plain as day. 

"What's going through that pretty head of yours," Yuta asked, ruffling Taeyong's still damp hair, then brushing it out of his eyes and tucking it behind his ear. He’d always loved playing with Taeyong’s hair. No matter how many times it was bleached, the products he used always kept it soft and fluffy. 

"I can't believe you kissed me," Taeyong said, his cheeks reddening again. Yuta might have been afraid, as though it was an accusation, but the smile Taeyong was obviously trying to contain indicated that he need not be.

"On a scale of 1-10, how surprised were you?"

"In the moment? Not really at all. You had this look on your face that just... screamed what you were about to do."

"You didn't stop me."

"No... I didn't."

"What about looking back? Are you surprised now?"

"Well if you asked me what I thought the chances were of you kissing me tonight when I walked out of the venue, I probably would have laughed. Does that answer your question?"

"Hey, you're fully pinning this on me!" Yuta said, "I think this was as much you as it was me."

"I mean, you did ask if you could."

"You are as responsible as me for the actual kiss!" Yuta insisted.

Taeyong laughed. "I'm alright taking half that blame. But I'm still surprised."

"I hope you’re surprised in a good way,” Yuta said, dropping his eyes. 

“Why wouldn’t it be good?” 

Yuta hesitated. The question he knew he needed to ask lingering on his tongue. He was blissfully happy right now, but he needed to know what happened next. Needed to know what all this meant. "Taeyong… I like you- so much. I’ve liked you for so long. But… Do you really... want... this? Want me?" 

"Yuta," Taeyong said, reaching for his hand. Yuta moved closer so Taeyong could lace their fingers together, eyes falling to where Taeyong’s dainty fingers met with his own. He couldn’t look at Taeyong right now. He just couldn’t. "I wouldn't have kissed you, wouldn't have let you kiss me, if I didn't."

"But... how?" He looked back up, eyes searching Taeyong’s for some kind of answer, some evidence that what he was saying was true… because how could it be? 

"What do you mean how?"

"I don't understand... how could you feel the same? How could you feel that way about me?"

"It works both ways. I could ask you the same question.” 

"I never would have guessed, never would have even imagined. I'd buried those feelings, accepted the fact that they were one sided."

"Well they weren't."

Yuta could feel tears in his eyes. This was a dream. It had to be. There was no way... Lee Taeyong, the most beautiful, most amazing man he'd met in his entire life... there was no way he could feel that way about Yuta. He was so ordinary, so mediocre and Taeyong was so incredible. It couldn't be true... could it?

"I can't... I can't believe it."

"Then let me show you," Taeyong said, his voice breathy and quiet. He pulled himself up and leaned in, a hand on the back of Yuta's neck to pull him close.

This time, Yuta didn't react. He didn't move toward Taeyong, only let himself be pulled closer.

Taeyong's mouth was gentle and not rushed. He took his time, pressing his lips carefully against Yuta’s, so soft and smooth and slow, kissing lightly, pulling back slightly and then kissing again. Taeyong's thin fingers wound themselves in the long hair at the back of Yuta's neck, and Yuta felt it send shivers down his spine.

This was real. He was kissing Taeyong, his crush of the last five years. A crush that he’d so desperately tried to deny to himself. 

But Taeyong wanted more. His tongue slowly parted Yuta's lips. It wasn't hesitant, but it also wasn't demanding. Yuta could have refused if he'd wanted, but of course he didn't. It took no effort for Taeyong to access his mouth, allowing Taeyong's soft, small tongue passage. The kiss was assertive but gentle and boy did it seem like Taeyong knew what he was doing. He explored Yuta's mouth, brushing his tongue carefully against his teeth, engaging Yuta's tongue and inviting it to dance with his own. Taeyong's hand met Yuta's cheek as he slowly ended the kiss, tongue returning to his own mouth, finishing it off with another gentle brush of their lips.

When Yuta opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) Taeyong was staring into them. His expression soft and warm.

"Do you believe me now?" Taeyong whispered.

Yuta sniffled, eyes filled with tears. Taeyong reached up to brush one that fell to his cheek. Yuta nodded.

It was all he needed. He didn't need to ask questions, didn't need answers now. He just needed the knowledge that this was real. Taeyong really felt the same about him.

"Cuddle with me?" Taeyong asked.

Yuta nodded and shifted to pull back the sheets, rolling over to toss some of the mountain of pillows on the ground. He lied down and pulled Taeyong close, spooning him and fussing until he promised his neck and shoulders felt comfortable and supported before finally pulling the blankets over both of them. 

“Thank you,” Taeyong whispered, pulling Yuta’s hand down across his chest and lacing their fingers together.

“What for?” Yuta asked. 

“For taking such good care of me. I know I’m not easy,” Taeyong whispered, kissing Yuta’s thumb. 

“I wouldn’t have you any other way.” 

* * *

**One week later:**

“Yongie, can you come here for a minute?” Yuta asked, standing in the corridor outside of the practice room. They’d been home for all of 12 hours and they were back it, working hard in preparation for the final concerts of the tour. For now, they had a week before they were due in London for their next set of shows. 

“What’s up?” Taeyong asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead on his sleeve. 

“Happy Birthday,” Yuta said, handing him a card. 

“Oh,” Taeyong took the card, flipping it over in his hands. “Should I open it now?” 

“Please,” Yuta said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, a bit nervous. 

Taeyong picked at the envelope, careful not to rip it, and pulled it open. The card was simple, but it was what was inside that mattered. 

Taeyong’s eyes lit up, eyes falling on the plane tickets. He looked closer, obviously eyeing the destination and the date. “We’re going to Japan? In- two days?!” 

“Look behind it.”

A photo of a resort- Yuta’s favourite place in the world. He’d spoken of it to Taeyong before, always looking forward to being able to return to it someday. His parents had taken him there for his nineteenth birthday and he’d wanted to go back ever since. 

“Yuta… are you serious?” 

“The time is already approved.” 

“Shit, I told my parents I’d-” 

“They know. I’ve already told them. We’re going to see them when we come back before we leave for London.” 

“You really arranged all of this? That’s so nice.” Taeyong couldn’t keep the smile off his face. It made Yuta feel giddy. 

“Of course. You need a few days to relax and celebrate your birthday. You deserve it.” 

“Thank you,” Taeyong folded the card and put it back in the envelope, then reached for Yuta and pulled him close. He hugged him tight. “I can’t wait.” 

“Same,” Yuta whispered. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, please considering leaving me a comment! It means the world!  
> Part 3 - Their Vacation - coming soon! 
> 
> Huge thank you to CJ for encouraging me, screaming with me and betaing for me! Love you forever. 
> 
> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/pinkchimmm)!


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